To others, i always seemed very happy, jovial, laughing and joking around. I think i have "mellowed" over the years. I don't like it when people dun take me seriously sometimes but then again i dun really care. What matters is what I think of myself. Ah..what arrogance...

I can make the most painful thing about myself sounds like joke..laughing it off..I dun tell people my pains cos i dun like to display my weakness. Anyway, what's the point of making people feel sad and worried?? Or worse, make people feel sorry and pity for you??

I dont mind sharing with my close frens such as cb6 my disappointments and pains but when i see them (which is only every once or twice or at most thrice a yr) I am so excited that I feel like a child..Very problem-free, very innocent and bursting with joy. Like a wide-eyed child being given free tix to the biggest amusement park in the world. I feel damn light-hearted. This is kind of feeling and emotion one definitely cannot buy with all the money in the world.

I appear friendly and talkative. Some people suan me or poke fun at me, thinking that I'm gullible or stupid. I dun mind them thinking this way. Mayb i do want them to think this way. In this way, i will always be emotionally-detached from them. And then, i wont be hurt in any way.

Some people are very friendly and very nice, establishing strong frenships everywhere. Sometimes Im very envious and will think to myself that mayb i should be nicer to people. But then again, why should i be someone im not. I dun like to do things on purpose..i will be so fake..ee...so not in my character. Some more i really dun have the time to have many close frens. You see...Im a very devoted person..and sometimes emotional too.

Tho i appear cold and unfeeling.....